Confronting the sins we tolerate.

I really don't like a good Bible Study. Yes, that's what I said, sort of. You see, a good Bible study, or study of any endeavor for that matter, brings with it one very difficult aspect; that they do just as much to tear down what you thought you knew as they do inform you with new information.

Natalie and I have more "studies" under our belts than most of you would guess. We have a whole book shelf on relationship studies for couples, for families, for work relationships, and for parenting. We have texts on the human conditions of depression, anxiety, and forgiveness. We have books with secrets; 7 secrets to being good bosses, 10 secrets to understanding yourself (???), 7 keys to good relationships, etc. You get the idea.

You get the idea that we have a surplus of books on understanding people. What I haven't had much of are books that can really help you understand yourself. That's not near as much fun of a journey, the one inward. If anything, that's the last place people really desire to explore. The book "Respectable Sins" by Jerry Bridges is one of those few books that attempt to take the reader on a tour of themselves. Thankfully the reader is guided by watching the author struggle with his own journey rather than be "taught" who they themselves are. Instead we see the author wrestle and struggle with the difference between the self that he presents to others, and the self that really lives and breathes inside.

We have been reading this book, one chapter a week, with a group of others at our church. And I have never seen so much turmoil and churning as what this study has produced. I cannot tell you how many times someone in the group says "I was sure that this chapter wasn't going to apply to me, but oh my word did it ever". It seems like the same week we start on a given subject, that's the same week everyone struggles with the uggliness of that aspect in their lives rearing its head and becoming visible for all to see. I'll be honest, the week we studied anger was the worst week for me in all of our marriage. I have never shown such an ugly side of me as when I was supposed to be teaching about the importance of restraining one's anger. That theme has carried through for so many people that have done the study with us. It honestly stinks, I hate having to deal with the damage control and fallout of people seeing what really lurks under the surface. But, I need it. I need the struggle. I need the exposure. I need the change. I need to turn away from the hidden faults and learn to live a life that can be held up to scrutiny. So, please don't misunderstand me. It's a tough book, but if you are willing to try it, no matter who you are, I would recommend throwing yourself into it. See what happens.

Short Update.

I know I don't post much right now, but thanks for checking in. I just want to say I'm thankful for all of my friends and family, this year especially. The last month or two has been a real study in life's contrasts. As one good thing happens, a painful one seems to happen at the same time. As we get a call of good news one moment, we also get a call for prayer the same day. It reminds me of how thankful I am to have Natalie and Adia for now. I am very aware of how quickly that could all change, even this week we have been witness to events in others' lives that bear that out.

One of my co-workers came to me this week with the news that his friend's three year old daughter was killed in an accident with a horse. He asked me what to do, what to say. I don't have answers for questions like that, I told him that sometimes it's all you can do to just be there with someone. I'm going to try to be more deliberate in how I spend my time with the ones I have. I think we tend to get a little sloppy after awhile with how we use our time. So, I'm thankful for the friends and family I have. Thanks for staying involved in our lives.

It's a boy! (we think)

Sorry for the long delay in posting, no excuses, just lazy. By the way, Doc says the bun in the oven is of the strong silent variety. Anything compared to Adia will be quieter than what we are raising now. Hey, if you think I'm being harsh, I'm not, it's just a fact of life, the girl can't breathe unless she's talking. To tell the truth, we were all geared up for a girl, it's what we know. Even Adia said pensively, upon hearing it was a boy, "I could love a brother".

We're all looking forward to seeing how this will be different, I've already clued Nat into the fact that all devices having to do with the creation of and / or perpetuation of fire and flame will have to be stored behind lock and key from now on. I was from a family of three boys and no sisters, you better believe we never had any trouble getting a camp fire (or any fire) lit. Anyway, thanks so much for sharing in this news with us.

Born Alive.

I'm not big on spinning politics, I'm not big on forwarding SPAM, I am although big on the sanctity of life. I've followed the story of Jill Stanek for awhile now and have been really saddened by what's happening in hospitals around the country. In short, babies are surviving a particular type of abortion on the rate of 10-20% of the total number. It's what's happening to these survivors that has really got to be shared. If you can, please take the time to watch the attached video, or look up Jill Stanek herself and learn more about it. (you may need to press the "pause" button on the music player before you play the video)

The fault of a christian...

Do we forget what we really believe sometimes? If not, how else do we explain professing to believe something but also realizing that our lives are not showing evidence of it? We say with our mouths that we need God. We confess that if not for Him we would be nothing. We tell our children that God created man. We state that without Him we are capable of nothing truly good. But how is it that although I "say" I need God so much, that I can wake in the morning and start my day without so much as a thought of how much I will really need from him that day. How is it that in the practice of my day, I do not hear myself praying to Him. I do not see myself stop and consider his will for me. I plan my day my way, I act according to how I see fit, and when I am spent and exhausted it never occurs to me that maybe I should be leaning on Him. Would that be like telling Natalie I need to be with her, to talk with her, to see her, and then say "OK, see you later, hope you have a good day" and not say another word to her all day? If we really believe something, isn't it understood that is should be obvious to someone else. If I really believe I need Natalie in my life every day, shouldn't she be able to notice it? This is what I do to God. I nod my head to the pastor's sermons, I share in the teaching in my class, I tell others how much I need God. A day in my life shows a different story though. A mile in my shoes is one of self confidence, carrying out my own plans, justifying my ways, and never giving a second thought to it.

It's called ungodliness. The Apostle Paul writes about ungodliness and unrighteousness. Two words I've always taken to be synonyms, two sides of the same coin. But they're not. The most moral, kind, loving, and otherwise good person in all of human history could be all of those traits without being Godly. People can be "good" people without knowing God. Being unrighteous on the other hand is a little more obvious. Unrighteousness is visible in peoples outright negative actions; lying, cheating, stealing, and others. All it takes to be ungodly is to forget Him, carry on a day without a thought about Him, forget to consider what He may want or desire for you, or from you. Probably the biggest problem with Christians leading ungodly lives is that we don't often notice that we're doing it. We have to be made aware of it, we have to have our eyes opened to it, then we can hope to change. Much better to be in the habit of asking God every day to open our eyes to our need for him than to be made aware of it later after having lived life as a Christian who didn't need God.

Our Great Escape

We're still getting used to being back home. The camper is still parked in the drive way, chores still wait to be completed. Towels, sand, board wax, and shells show up in unexpected places in the house. The perfect vacation. Slow, easy, quiet, everything... just... slows... down. Sleeping in late, getting up for a short breakfast, laying back down until almost noon. Making it out to the beach, making driftwood lean-to's, watching the sea as it shows us its different moods. Every day, every minute was well spent and savored.

Natalie and I have been going to that part of the coast since before we married. In someways it's like coming home. We've seen it change, and change back. We've been there single, honeymooning, married, pregnant, with infant, with young girl, and pregnant again. Although what lies behind the bluff may change; new houses come, old restaurants pass on, landscape changes, it's that the line between land and sea has never changed that keeps bringing us back. We could sit there for hours and watch the division between land, sea, and sky as it changes colors and sounds throughout the day. We're looking forward to exploring it year after year with the friends and family that God has shared with us. Hope to see you there some day.

Wow...

If you can't tell, what Adia is holding is the first picture of her new brother or sister. It would take a lot more than this blog to really get to the depth of how big this news is for us. Although we had hoped to have another child some time, we had also resolved that it looked like that was not to be part of God's plan for us. And THEN, JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING UP THERE, POWWWW! He really likes to keep us on our toes, I think he enjoys a few laughs while he's at it as well. We just sold all of our old baby stuff last year. Here's another kicker, the newbie's arrival date is set for one day off of Adia's birthday. Well, she always wanted to be a twin, maybe she'll at least have the same birthday. We promise to keep you all up to date.

Eugene '08

To Joe & Laura,

Thanks so much for the opportunity to be a part of this. You two are amazing people. We have prayed for years that God would see fit to allow you to see your ultimate goals become a reality. We have also prayed for years for safety, health , and that He would take care of you through all of these years of training. Many of our prayers were answered the way we hoped, others were not. We do know that He wants us to never stop hoping, to never give up on dreams. You two are such amazing examples of "never giving up".We can't tell you how special it was for us to be present with you at the trials. Our hearts were out there with you during each event, Natalie must have been one of the loudest fans present those two days. We loved being with you for this. It's nothing compared to what you have done for us over the years. We will never forget your kindness in maintaining a friendship over such large distances over so many years. We will especially never be able to repay you for your support when you had Natalie and Adia over with you in Arkansas. Your friendship helped see us out of the darkest time of our lives. You two are heroes to us, both of you. We have no idea what God has in store for you in this new day, but look forward to watching it all play out. Way to go Joe & Laura!

Pray for Joe & Laura Today.

Maybe some of you have clicked on our friends' blog hosted by Joe & Laura Cebulski. If so, you already know that today he is in Texas on his second day of a very important track meet. Joe has been training for the Olympic Decathalon for as long as we have known them. They have traveled all over the country to be part of different training programs. They have shown enormous endurance and faith during their pursuit of this dream. We hope the best for them. In particular we really pray that his scores today put him safely into a position for this years Olympic games. If you don't know anything about them, click on their link in the side of this page. Way to go Joe and Laura, we're thinking and praying about you.

Our Gang...

Having just one child sure makes you appreciate living next to good neighbors. I take that back, having good neighbors period, makes you appreciate them. Living so close to Debbie and the kids has been great. We really enjoy sharing time with each other. We've been able to have birthdays together, share meals, trade babysitting, and just enjoy hanging out too. I's been good for Adia to spend time over there because in their house she is not the "star" she's got to share the spotlight with three others. It works the other way too, sometimes it's nice for just one of the kids to come over here and get to play for awhile on their own terms with Adia and not have to share the moment with everyone else. I know there will probably come a time when the situation will change. Raising three kids in a two bedroom house is certainly a challenge. Until that time comes though, we are really going to take advantage of having such close friends.

Article about Natalie

I couldn't get the link to the news article mentioned in the last post to work so I just pasted it over into a new post.

Volunteers to help the elderly, disabled needed

Story by: Corey Russell



Date Published to Web: 3/14/2008

Being a volunteer provides many benefits to people. It can help them feel like they are making a difference. Volunteering allows special skills and talents to be displayed. It enhances personal growth and self-esteem and according to Natalie Curfman, volunteering two to three hours a week can even make people live longer.
"It gives them a sense of purpose, of giving," said Curfman, program director of Volunteer Chore Services in Sunnyside.
Curfman was the guest speaker at yesterday's (Thursday) Sunnyside Chamber of Commerce meeting, where she spoke about the volunteer program.
Volunteer Chore Services is a program of Catholic Family and Child Service, a division of the Diocese of Yakima.
"Our mission is motivated by Christ's love," she told the chamber members. "We bring hope to life, especially for those most in need."
Volunteer Chore Services volunteers provide concrete things to the elderly and the disabled, such as transportation, yard and house work, and building of wheelchair ramps.
"We help our elders and adults with disabilities live safely and independently," said Curfman.
She gave examples of what the program does. Curfman spoke of a woman in her 70s who has worked in the fields her whole life. Because she is illegal, she doesn't have any benefits. Volunteer Chore Services provides her with transportation and helps her locate resources that are available to her.
Another example she gave is of an elderly couple in their 80s with a big yard. Since they are up in age they aren't able to keep up with the weeds and the leaves. Program volunteers help the couple.
Volunteer Chore Services has been around since the early 1980s. State budget cuts in 1981 to the paid chore program produced a grassroots effort by churches to begin organizing volunteers. Volunteer Chore Services was born out of this movement.
Curfman said the program can use volunteers with all skill levels and accepts volunteers and clients from all faith backgrounds.
There is an application process involved, which includes a Washington State Patrol background check, three personal references and a 30-minute orientation.
Those wishing to volunteer their services or those looking to benefit from the services offered can call Curfman at 839-8260, or stop by the office at 320 N. 16th Street.

Nat in the News

I wanted to post this earlier, but obviously didn't. That doesn't mean it's not important. Some of you know that Natalie has gone back to work, she started with Catholic Family Services last fall. Well, she's been doing her job so well that she's been in the paper twice now. I'm really proud of her work. Her job position requires her to align people in need of help (almost any help at all) with people willing to volunteer. She has been great at it and is meeting a lot of people. She's having an immediate impact in our community, many of her clients don't qualify or have access to any other help than her volunteers, so they really rely on the services that she helps line up for them.

Anyway, here is the link to one of the articles about what she is doing.
Daily Sun News Story

Through her eyes.

Adia was given a camera for her birthday this year. She has really taken to using it. It's been a blast to see what she's been loading it with. It really gives us a glimpse of the world as she sees it. Through her pictures the world is taller, bigger, full of fantasy, small animals, make believe, and friends. Here is just a short group of some pics she took while running work errands with me on her day off from school Friday.

The Valentine's Day that Daddy Missed

While on the road I missed Feb 14th, but not to be deterred my girls wanted to party regardless. So, having done a pre V date the week before the girls thought they'd like to go somewhere on their own while I was gone. They got all gussied up, hair, nails, new dresses (very "girly" dresses), a trip out of town, and a nice dinner, the whole works. They were nice enough to take pictures of it, so I thought I'd share. Oh, by the way, for those who don't recognize her, the other girl with Nat & Adia is our friend Sarah. She was kind enough to join them on their girls' night out. They had a great time, hopefully next year I'll be able to see it in person.

On the road this week.

Well, it was a couple days ago now, but we made it. For those of you that don't know Bobby and I had to drive a couple semi's down to California for our big equipment show (World Ag Expo). We got in Saturday night.

We were supposed to get going, wheels rolling, at 5:00 am on Friday. It ended up being about 3:30 pm on Friday. We lost alot of time with last minute details. Many of the details could have been taken care of earlier and were just neglected, others were not so forseeable. Either way, we waited at the shop almost all day and got a late start. We drove from Sunnyiside to Bend, OR the first night. I really appreciated not being the lead driver, Bobby's taken the drive before and I could just focus on his tail lights and go. We got into Bend late, had some dinner, got a room, slept about 5 hours and were back on the road again by 5:00 am Saturday.

We crossed into California at 8:35 am on Saturday. We didn't get into Tulare until 11 hours later. We didn't stop driving for a combined hour on Saturday, that was a long day. It really wasn't that bad, until we had to joing I-5 near Sacremento. The freeway through that area is just evil. We were joking that it's surprising we have any teeth left after that ride, we go slammed by pot holes, bumps, grooved pavement, and bridge transitions constantly. I had the back tires of my semi airborne a couple times. When we got back over on Hwy 99 things smoothed out again.

But, we're here, we made it. We'll make the return trip starting on Friday. In the mean time, think about Natalie and Adia at home, we all miss each other. I actually missed Adia's real birthday yesterday, I'll also miss Valentine's Day tomorrow. They have some neat plans though for the big V-day, I think they'll have fun. Talk to you all later.

6 Years Old (sort of)

We had an early birthday for Adia last night. She won't be 6 for more than another week but I'll be gone on a work trip during that time. Seems like there's always one present that gets the most attention, this time it was a bag of balloons and a pump. I got up this morning and the living room was full of balloon shapes she'd been working on. Next on the list was a bag of rubber bands. She had seen a rubber band ball on someone's desk at work and thought it'd be neat to put one together. Someone found a kit with a little ball to start with and a bunch of rubber bands to wrap around it to create a bigger ball. She worked hard at that one too this morning. Pretty easy to please so far, hope it keeps up this way.

IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!

Goodness it's been awhile since I posted. I have now been joined in my posting pursuits by my lovely assistant (and wife). Please see her note below about our recently memorialized pet Emma. I started this blog over a year ago with notes about how I was trying to get my Class B CDL, which I need for work. Well, I tried and failed, twice, last year. A year came and went with still no license. I knew I needed it before February (I have to help drive for a big equipment show). One big change though, it wasn't going to be feasible to try for the "B" license (straight truck / think bus or garbage truck), I had to get my "A" license (tractor trailer combination, think Big Rig) to be any help. This requirement has been causing me stress for over a year straight, sometimes to the point of getting sick. Almost every day I have either reminded myself or been reminded by others that I still do not have a CDL (of any flavor). Well as of today it's all over ! I have passed all three of my written exams and most importantly of all, can you say MIRACLE, I passed my driving test today. Anyone that tells you it's easy is either out of their mind, got their license so long ago the test consisted of simply spelling the word T-R-U-C-K, or may in fact be a certifiable GENIUS. Either way, I'm done, done, done. Now having said that, I make no gaurantee that if you ride with me you won't need severe dental work after our outing ( my shifting sounds like a dull rock crusher hard at work). The shifting will improve, at least I hope so. I think having this off my shoulders will really allow me to be able to both enjoy life more and concentrate better on other things that need to be done.

Emma

In November our kitty Emma died. A few days before it happened I (Natalie) took some time with her to reflect back about our days together . . .

"Emma. The first word that comes to my mind is "sweet". Emma has some sort of large obstruction by her lung and heart that is shortening her breath and causing wheezing attacks. The vet wants to have an ultrasound procedure done tomorrow and I am praying for the best - that it is a large water or puss mass that can be drained.

I have so many memories of this beautiful nine year old feline friend. My very first memories are of her in the shelter. All of her brothers and sisters were taken but she was miraculously left for me. A soft, fuzzy, white button with chocolate brown points . . . a siamese. When I came to adopt her she was so afraid she crawled out of my hands and into a paper file on the lady's desk. She curled up and tried to hide. Several days later at our apartment she was making messes on the nice carpet and we got after her. We felt guilty as we learned she had worms and it wasn't her fault.

She's as smart as they come. Once in awhile we locked her into the bathroom of the one bedroom apartment to contain her at night. She figured out how to jimmy the knob with her paws and open the door. We didn't want to leave our "baby" alone on the weekend so we would drive from Seattle to the Valley with her and a very stinky litter box in the car. We were crazy. I can remember embroidering and how she loved to play with each string.

One Labor Day we took her all the way to Plymouth, WA camping with the extended family. Needless to say our little pink leash and harness didn't keep her completely contained. We wanted to do a short outing and left her tied to the tent. I have no idea what we were thinking; but, God watched over this little kitty as there were dogs all around, water, & unknown territory. Still, even though she was off the tent, she was safe at the campsite.

Emma has lived in all but our first home - adjusting to each new one and settling into her routine. She rolled with the punches as we got Oreo to be her "sister" - then Adia was born. All of a sudden the kitties were no longer "babies." Oreo basically flipped out and was unfortunately relegated to the outdoors. Emma hung in there and began to get to know this new person in our family. She was always gentle with Adia as a baby and has never once hurt her. Emma has lived through other additions to our family including: Misty, Jake the dog, Pickles, and most recently Emily. She's taken each in stride.

Emma always waits until the right moment to sit on a lap. She always judges how long you've been sitting and how long it looks like you intend to continue sitting. She is a superb lap warmer, snuggler, and purr-er. If invited, she loves to crawl down under the covers of the bed. Every night Emma sleeps at the foot of our bed waiting for us to settle down so she can sleep and courteously puts up with being kicked off. She waits, bides her time, and comes back up when we're asleep.

Emma has darkened over the years and is now quite dark all over. I was once told siamese are like "hypercolor" wherever it is most warm they remain light colored. The dark color is where they are colder. As they age they gain more darkness.

Emma has a good mind on her shoulders which hasn't been able to be said of all of her "siblings." She's the smartest cat I've ever known and the most affectionate too. She's a mature old lady now and I hope to spend more years with her. My Dad reminded me of the verse about God watching the sparrows and I'm positive it applies to kitties too..."

Not long after I wrote this journal entry God took Emma. She is now buried outside our kitchen window so I can look out and remember what a great friend she was.